Frequently Asked Questions
What is a typical SPT session like?
Every session is different. SPT is a progression of structured and unstructured exercises, meant to give the client hands-on experience that parallels the progression of a traditional relationship. In that vein, you can expect a “getting to know you” phase (the first session), in which I’ll ask many questions about your life and personal history, as well as answer your questions to better know me. From there, the core of the work is “sensate focus”—a mindful awareness of the body and way of touching and being touched that is of a non-demand nature, meant for pleasure versus performance. There may be breathing and verbal exercises. There is a hand caress, face caress, foot bath, etc. As sessions progress they encompass a gradual increase in sensuality and sexuality, always with the client's well-being and comfort level in mind. Pacing and activities are tailored to the individual needs of the client.
What if I don’t want to work with a therapist, but solely with a Surrogate Partner?
As an IPSA-Supervised Surrogate Partner Intern I work solely with clients and their therapist. If you don’t already have a therapist, I can recommend one or you can visit the IPSA website for guidance in your search.
If you have concerns about the triadic process (or anything else), I’m happy to answer questions to help you reach an informed decision that honors your therapeutic needs. My email link is upper right of this page.
How long does it take?
SPT can be expected to last 3-6 months, though sometimes longer. We'll meet for weekly for 2 hour sessions. I'm also available for a 10-12 day intensive—the latter being a condensed program for clients lacking a Surrogate Partner in their area. Intensives require being available 3 hours every day for this extended period. They can be done either in Austin or i can visit your area for the 10-12 day period.
Is it just for men?
SPT is available to male and female clients of all sexual orientations with Surrogate Partners of either gender. Some clients, particularly with histories of trauma, may choose to work with a same-sex surrogate who acts as a role model rather than intimate partner.
I work primarily with straight men, also women (gay or straight), LGBT, intersex, and all genders & sexualities, ages 18-80.
What does it cost?
I’m available in Austin at a rate of $200 per hour. Recommended session length is two hours ($400), weekly. Expect the series to last 3 months (or longer, if necessary and mutually agreed upon). For intensives outside Austin my rate is $5,000 plus travel and accommodation expenses.
Where are you located?
My cozy, comfortable studio located in central Austin.
What is the benefit of IPSA training and certification?
The International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA) is the only professional training and certifying body for Surrogate Partners in the US. IPSA members adhere to a strict Code of Ethics, rigorous course of study, and the highest level of integrity.
Where can I confirm your professional affiliation status with IPSA?
What is the role of a Surrogate Partner and their relationship to the therapist?
The role of a SP is multidimensional. Primarily, they are a genuine—if transitional—partner engaging in authentic emotional and physical intimacy, enabling the client to progress and build on a foundation of positive experiences. They are also a coach, guide, mentor, role model, and facilitator of healing. Much like a physical therapist who works in conjunction with a surgeon to help repair and strengthen injured/impaired areas, surrogate partners engage in hands-on experiential exercises that strengthen and heal areas the client is simultaneously addressing with the therapist.
An effective SP is intelligent, self-aware, empathetic, accepting, and emotionally and sexually open. They tend to have histories in the helping professions (teaching, nursing, massage, psychology, etc.) and many of us feel called to do this work. During SPT they practice full disclosure with the therapist, having thorough and informative discussions regarding the client's patterns, habits, and issues. They don’t presume to take on the therapist's role, yet are open and honest with opinions regarding treatment in the best interests of their shared client.
Is SPT legal?
While I encourage consulting on the issue with your professional organization, I can tell you there are currently no laws regulating Surrogate Partner Therapy and no surrogacy case has every gone to court. SPT is not prohibited in any state and it is widely used and accepted in California and other places.